Affairs Of The Heartless
by puzzl-in
Summary: 358 days, but what might have happened on those days we missed? A collection of drabbles/sonfics, mostly about the friendship between Roxas, Xion and Axel. No pairings, only subtle RoxasxXion hints. Rating may change. Chapter 3 - Commiserations
1. Fireworks

**Thanks for clicking =) so this is the first in a series of drabbles/sonfics, mostly about the friendship between Roxas, Xion and Axel. I fell in love with the trio while i was playing through 358/2 days (probably some major spoilers in this btw, for anyone who hasn't played it yet) and i couldn't resist filling in the gaps on the days on the clock tower that we missed. **

**WARNING: may be incredible fluffy!**

**Summary: He never knew how easy it could be to forget the pain.**

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**Fireworks**

"It's getting late. Maybe we should head back?"

Hearing his friend's voice, after what felt like hours of silence, Roxas sighed. She was right. The sunset had been and gone, leaving behind a soft ripple of orange across the rapidly darkening sky. A midnight blue by now, that threw the thin shadow of the clock tower over the two figures in black cloaks, sitting on the edge. Roxas could feel the windless chill of the night air seeping into his skin, all the way through his coat. It might have stung, had he been paying any attention to it, but he'd been having trouble focusing his mind on anything lately. For a while now, he had just been watching the steady drip of his melting seat-salt icecream, falling from the curved end like teardrops. He could imagine the soft splash as they hit the ground below him, forming a blue pool at the bottom of the clock tower.

"Roxas-?"

"Not just yet," Roxas cut in, tiredly. He took another gentle bite from his icecream, unable to tear his eyes away from that little blue drip. "You can go if you want."

The shock of black hair shook defiantly. "I can wait," Xion said, her voice soft. "I'd rather not leave you alone."

Roxas couldn't bring himself to feel grateful. "I'm fine, Xion," he muttered. "I'm used to it."

Xion hesitated. "To being alone?" she asked sadly.

Roxas chose not to answer. "Just…go and find Axel," he murmured, clasping both hands over the handle of his rapidly melting icecream. "He said he wanted to talk to you, anyway."

Xion said nothing, but her unfaltering gaze never left her friend. Her blue eyes were narrowed, with the deep crease in the porcelain skin of her forehead. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. Friends were meant to be there for one another. They dealt with each others complications - that's what Axel had told them. What ever was happening with Roxas, she only knew that she was meant to help him through it. She was supposed to - she _wanted _to - make it better.

"Go, Xion," Roxas muttered insistently. He seemed to have lost interest in his icecream, as the last few melting pieces were beginning to slowly slide along the tilted stick, falling the dozens of feet to the path of the station plaza. A moment later, he let it drop completely.

Xion saw the flash of pain in Roxas's eyes as he glanced at her, and suddenly some unnatural instinct clicked inside her. She turned to him and reached out, letting her small hand rest gently over his. Something flickered in Roxas's eyes the moment she touched him - surprise, maybe? - but he didn't move away. "Roxas…please stop trying to be alone," she whispered, the words somehow finding some meaning to her, even if not to him. "I'm your friend because I want to be there for you. I'm not just here for the icecream, I'm here because you're my best friend and I love you. Will you think of that next time, before you tell me to leave?"

Roxas was silent, for a long time, and Xion was beginning to think that he wasn't going to respond at all. A few more soundless minutes passed as she watched him, timed by the darkening of the sky. She could see stars now, lighting the night sky around the glow of a full moon. She could see its silver glow on the fabric of her coat and washed over her pale face. She turned her eyes back to Roxas, to see his downcast face bathed in the same silver light. It was clear, by now, that he wasn't going to speak.

Pained by realisation, Xion lowered her gaze and released a trembling breath. She moved to pull her hand back, the silence of the night capturing the sound of her reluctant movements, only to have her fingers caught in a tight grip. Roxas held her hand tightly, his fingers wrapped securely around hers so he wouldn't lose her touched. It was a little, but it wasn't nearly enough. He breathed in heavily, his eyes fixed straight ahead without any sign of moving. But something in his expression had changed. She could see the sadness, still. The familiar look, that she had unwilling began to associate with him, was still there. But behind the sadness was desperation.

"Don't leave," Roxas said, almost too softly for her to hear. He tried to look at her, just out the corner of his eye, but something stopped him. "Please?"

And Xion might have said something. She had certainly wanted to, but what ever words she had were never given the chance to pass her lips. Because it was at that moment that they heard a sudden, barely audible screech from within the town.

Xion looked up sharply as hundreds of lights exploded out of the sky. Tiny golden rays rained out of the darkness like stars falling from the heavens, and as they fell, they slowly blended back into the black sky that they had somehow come from.

"What is that?" she asked, amazed. As she watched, more lights burst out of the darkness; silver and gold and red. The colours danced in the glazed water of her eyes, shimmering as she stared in awe. "Is it…?"

"Nothing bad," Roxas assured her - and he did sound sure.

Xion relaxed and leant back again, although her eyes remained glue on the flames of light that splayed across the sky, like splashes of paint on a canvas. "It's so beautiful…" she whispered.

Roxas smiled, although he couldn't help but feel that the gesture meant nothing. But if he had no heart, nothing to feel with, then what caused the unbearable tightness in his chest? A feeling he was never without anymore.

Pushing the thoughts from his mind, Roxas tightened his hold on Xion's hand. She did the same in return, but her eyes never left the sky. Roxas was glad. Because he could finally bring himself to turn and look at her. She looked scared, but she was clearly too amazed to care. It was all so new to Xion; the sight of something so beautiful and yet so impossible. But he had the feeling he had seen it already. He thought of the boy in red. Had he seen the lights before?

"Roxas, look!" Xion breathed, unknowingly interrupting his thoughts before he could begin to worry - all over again.

"I'm looking," Roxas said quietly, managing a small smile which Xion just about saw. She was suddenly oddly torn, between wonder and worry. But she knew which should win, and which she cared so much more for.

In a rare display of affection, Xion hesitantly lowered her head and rested her cheek on Roxas's shoulder. But if she expected him to flinch away she was pleasantly surprised. Roxas didn't make any move towards her, but at least he didn't move away.

Xion knew she had never felt so safe, as she hid her face in Roxas's black coat. Something about the presence of her best friend made it easy to forget the rest of her pain.

She just didn't know Roxas was feeling the same way.

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**Please review! Any suggestions for future chapters are welcome - and a big help, cause i might run out of ideas in the long run =S**


	2. Breathing

**Hey! thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. It makes me feel all happy! This is another RoxasXioncentric chapter, but never fear Axel-ers. There's plenty of Axel to come, especially in the next chapter. BTW, sorry but the short summarys are probably always going to be bad. **

**Just a quick answer to a question, most of these chapters are going to be individual, but still slightly linking back to each other - if that made sense. I'll probably occasionally have two or three that link into one short story, though - a 'part one, part two' deal. That sounded confusing even to me...Sorry **

**Summary: Misery really does like company**

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**Breathing**

There were few places, in any world, as quiet as the castle at night.

A certain level of darkness had fallen over the halls of the Organisation's headquarters, more than the usual degree of menacing gloom. The shadows seemed somehow more significant at this time, that is to the natural everlasting blackness of the world that never was. To Roxas, the absence of the other members was, in a way, what caused the sense of coldness. There was something very familiar in waking up to find the others in their places about grey area, occasionally passing him a subtly cruel comment. It was unpleasant, but he found safety in the familiar.

The huge, completely clear windows across the far wall of the grey area seemed to add to the emptiness of the room, creating an unavoidable feeling of loneliness. The empty furniture stood in their usual places about the room waiting, in their unbreakable silence, for a morning no different to the night.

Hesitantly, Roxas emerged from within the thick shadows of the hallway, into sharp rays of moonlight. He could feel the brilliant glow of Kingdom Hearts as it watched him, a silent companion in the otherwise bare space. His footsteps landed on the hard ground with almost thunderous crashes, amplified by the unusual stillness of the castle. He made a point to lower his feet more carefully; heel first, then slowly lower his toes. He doubted the others could hear him, but that wasn't why he chose to move so silently. He felt like he was breaking some law by being out of his room; crossing some imaginary line. He didn't want to break the tranquillity of the night.

Roxas stopped as he reached the window; aware that he was in fact standing on the edge of a blocked off precipice. He was greeted by his stiff reflection, wild blonde hair and wide eyes that stared warily back at him, sad and tired. He raised a gloved hand and rested his fingers on the cold glass. He left no marks. He wondered if Nobody's even had fingerprints, beneath the black gloves - a mark that was unique to only him. If he wasn't supposed to exist, then would he have been given an identity beyond his name? That was what Roxas thought, as raised his hand and removed the black glove. He flexed his fingers, working the stiffness out of his bones and the sudden coldness that bit at the skin. He raised a single finger and narrowed his eyes, scrutinising the tiny fingertip. There was only smooth, pale skin. No marks at all; no swirls or lines. He pressed the bare skin of his thumb against the glass, but there was nothing left behind but a characterless smudge.

With a dejected sigh, Roxas lowered his hand and his head. He placed his still gloved hand over his chest, over the empty space where his heart should be. If there was something in there, the one thing they all longed for, then surely he would know? A heart would fill the empty half of himself, to make him a whole person again. But what was the point? The Organisation wanted hearts, but was it so they could feel again? Roxas couldn't understand it. If they couldn't feel - if _he _couldn't feel - then why was it becoming so hard for him to find the will to keep going? Something deep in his gut felt like he'd been pierced with a dagger, and he was sure it had something to do with the feelings he supposedly lacked.

Roxas met his own eyes for a moment, glaring back at him from the other side of the glass. The cold blue eyes of his reflection seemed to judge him, narrowed into a look of sheer contempt. As he watched, the light pink lips turned up into a sick smile.

Roxas turned away. He didn't watch his footsteps this time, he let them echo through the vast space of the grey area. He just wanted to leave the huge and empty and lonely room. He wanted to leave it all.

Roxas abruptly stopped in the hall, without any previous intention of doing so. A wave of dizziness came over him, so suddenly that it threatened to pull him into an early unconsciousness. He fought it off and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes. He was glad for the feel of the cold room. Concentrating on the fierce chill might have been all that kept him from passing out. He had passed through some haze, a blackness that subconsciously directed him passed his room and through the twisting corridors of the castle. At the end of it all, where he found himself was far from surprising. He saw no reason to hesitate, so he reached out and pushed open the immaculately white bedroom door.

Xion was asleep.

She was the first thing he saw when he peered through the crack in the door. Her petite frame was curled onto its side, seeking warmth and security within itself. Her closely cropped black hair fell over her face slightly, hiding from him her lightly closed eyes.

Roxas took a cautious step into the room, careful to not wake her, and the door closed behind him with a soft click. He was almost afraid to breathe. He didn't want her to wake up in case he scared her. _He_ certainly would have been shocked if he woke up to find someone watching him sleep. But he didn't want to go back to his room. He _hated _going back to his room every single night, only to wake up and complete more missions for Saix. Xion would understand that, even if nobody else did. Axel would, but Roxas doubted Axel would be as comfortable with him sneaking into his room at night.

Carefully, Roxas laid down beside her on the bed. The hard mattress creaked lightly under his weight, unaccustomed to someone who wasn't the weight of a feather like Xion. The small girl shifted slightly, her sleep momentarily disturbed by the sound and movement. Roxas stayed frozen beside her, his eyes barely open as he watched her brow furrow beneath the thin layer of hair across her face. He raised a hand and brushed the black strands from her face, his fingers just grazing the soft skin of her cheek. It was only a slight touch, but it was enough to pull Xion out of her light sleep.

Her blue eyes opened gradually, finding their way to Roxas as she forced open her heavy eyelids. The blur in her vision passed after a moment, and she found herself looking into the weary eyes of her best friend. She took him in for a moment; not surprised, but curious. Somehow, before she had even woke up she had expected to see him - Some part of her that was connected to him.

Roxas lowered his eyes and breathed in, in the same moment his eyes drifted closed. He didn't speak, and neither did Xion. Neither felt the need to say anything.

Xion watched him silently until his breathing evened out and he fell asleep, his warm breath light stroking the icy skin of her cheek. She closed her eyes and shuffled closer to him, so their foreheads were almost touching. She was thankful to him for being there, even if it wasn't for her sake.

Xion didn't sleep again that night. She allowed the soft sound of Roxas's breathing to keep her awake; a gentle, wordless song to ease her grief.

Because, even with Roxas beside her, she still felt completely alone.

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**Please Review =)**


	3. Commiserations

**Hey, thanks for the reviews =] I actually meant to have this chapter finished a few days ago then I got all busy with other stuff, but it's still a pretty fast update i think...=]**

**Am i supposed to have done disclaimers? Oh well, i'll do one now**

**Disclaimer: If I owned kingdom hearts, Sora wouldn't be half as cheesy "kindgoms hearts...is LIGHT!" **

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**Commiserations**

Even before he was a Nobody, Axel had never been one for sympathizing.

Something about a casual one-arm hug and a meaningless "I'm so sorry" just made his head hurt and his stomach churn with embarrassment. It was all so fake. It wasn't even that he didn't care, in many cases he cared a little _too _much, it was just that he knew how little the sympathy of others meant to him. Why would his apology for something he didn't do make anyone feel better?

The same rules applied after he lost his heart. A wiseass remark fit the bill just as well as a reassuring smile, and he was far better at those. Besides, cracking a joke always had a way of pulling out a grin; one way or another.

"Hey, Axel, did you see Xion today?"

Axel, with a mouthful of icecream, shrugged. "Can't say I have," his muffled voice answered. "I think she got a pretty hard mission today. She probably went back to her room."

Roxas sighed, eyes trained on his half eaten sea-salt icecream. "Yeah probably," he murmured. "Seems I keep missing her lately."

Axel cast his friend a sideways glance. "You'll bump into each other eventually," he said confidently. "The castle's not _that _big."

Roxas smiled thinly. "I guess so."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Geez, calm down Mr Enthusiasm, you're embarrassing yourself."

Roxas looked up, eyes wide. "What?"

"You're, like, misery wrapped in a Roxas-shaped box. What's the deal?"

Roxas frowned and looked away again, taking a large and furious bite from his icecream. "You're imagining things," he insisted, his voice tight and stifled. "I'm fine."

"He growled," Axel chuckled, offering his friend a Cheshire cat grin

In return, Roxas attempted to shoot Axel an unsmiling glare; although he managed to achieve the exact opposite. He felt the corners of his lips tugging upwards and suddenly he couldn't hold in a laugh.

Although he was more relieved than amused, Axel found himself laughing too. He wasn't sure why, when he hadn't said anything particularly funny, but he soon felt his stomach cramping from the force of his laughter. He managed to drop his icecream mid-hysterics, and something about the action made Roxas laugh harder.

"Oow," Roxas moaned after a while, clutching his stomach between stifled chuckles. "What…Something's wrong…"

Axel noticed his friend's anxious expression and shook his head. The smile wouldn't wipe itself from his face, though. "It's 'cause you're laughing too much," he pointed out, gently patting his own stomach. "Good exercise for your stomach muscles."

Roxas stared; first at Axel, then at his sore stomach. "Huh? Really?"

Axel smirked. "Yup. Not that you have any, though."

"H-hey!" Roxas exclaimed. "They're there…I've seen them! It's not _my _fault this stupid coat-"

"Whoa!" Axel chuckled, raising his hands. "Take a joke, man."

"I can take a joke!"

"He growled."

"Stop saying that!"

Axel laughed. He reached out and slapped Roxas on the back, hard enough that the young Nobody almost toppled over the edge of the clock tower.

"Well, I'm turning in for the night," Axel abruptly decided. He yawned widely and stood up, stretching his longs arms over his head. He didn't want to leave yet, but leaving avoided the awkward conversation he had been trying to steer clear of for days.

"Already?" Roxas asked.

"Yup. The land of unconsciousness calls." Axel scratched the back of his head, an old nervous habit that he never lost, even when he became a Nobody. "What about you?" he asked.

Roxas shook his head and turned back round, facing the familiar sunset. "Nah," he said, smiling. "I think I'll just sit here and…think."

"Well…OK," Axel muttered. "Don't hurt yourself."

Roxas chuckled. "See you at home."

Axel, despite actually wanting to head back and sleep, found himself hesitating. He wasn't sure if Roxas sensed he was still there; but if he did, he didn't say so. And something about the way he was sat - comfortably leant on his knees, smiling at the gentle warmth of the setting sun - made him look more at peace than his recent behaviour let on. It was comforting for Axel to see, especially after all that Xion had told him. From what she had said, he had almost expected to find Roxas cooped up in his room, weeping over a tub of chocolate icecream. But still, Xion seemed to think that Roxas had been acting strangely.

"He's always strange," Axel had responded, several days earlier.

"In a bad way," Xion insisted.

"Bad, how?"

"He's…sad."

"Sad?"

"Look, Axel, I just wondered if you could talk to him? You've known him longer than me. He'll probably feel more comfortable talking to you."

And that was how Axel found himself _not _talking to Roxas. He couldn't find the appropriate time to say "Hey, so, Xion says you're crazy. What's with that?". Even if there really was something wrong with him, Axel doubted that he would be the best candidate for a round of 'caring and sharing'. It would only make him uncomfortable, and then Roxas by extension.

_Maybe I'll try again tomorrow, _Axel thought with a sigh. He felt bad, but there was nothing he could do just yet. Resigned, he turned and headed down from the clock tower; accompanied by the sound of his footsteps, rather than his best friend.


End file.
